Post Block Syndrome

Well peeps, it's official.  I have been diagnosed with a condition called ''Post Block Syndrome''.  Recently defined by Urban dictionary as, ''Similar to writers block only in the context of social networking sites. Unable to come up with post worthy content.''.  What's a writer to do....

Mean while, my computer keyboard's shift key is broken and I am unable to type any sign that requires SHIFT.  So you won't be seeing question marks or anything else except a bunch of ....... bare with me...it's gonna get better, I promise.

Most of you know that my sister is my inspiration for this blog.  She held a gun to my head and told me I had to write.  Hence what caused the Post Block Syndrome onset.  The drama of her firm, but supportive voice left me feeling like nothing I could think of was as post worthy as her brilliant blogging skills.  Check her blog out www.iblogmoore.blogspot.com

I went in search of any known cures for post block syndrome with no luck of finding any advice of real worth.  Oddly enough, I couldn't find anything posted on a blog that could help.  Pardon the pun, I'm in a really silly mood.  I've decided to make my own remedy and rules for such. 

Here's the regimen.  Eat a half bag of powered donuts, clean out your storage closet, go for a run, eat a candy bar, clean some more, pick up chick fil a combo 1, check your email and then take on the challenge of writing about a bunch of nuttin until the right subject hits you.  It might take one post, two posts or even a month worth of posts, but the main point is to press forward and don't give up.  Your readers will pile up, give you more inspiration and the deadly cycle will cease.  Be sure to keep plenty of donuts on hand....and if you get tired of organizing your storage closet, find a friends closet that needs organizing.  She'll love ya for it.

Love to all.
Beth

Receive a Compliment- Part 2

Wow, I'm telling you, when you ask God to search you, HE DOES.  OUCH.  Even though the truth sometimes hurts, I am thrilled that the discomfort is resulting in a further freedom for me in this season.  If I ever seem like I am content where I am, SAY THESE WORDS TO ME...deeper still, Beth, deeper still.  There is always room to grow, learn and change our perspective.  May I always stay open to take heart, measure and be willing to change.

So, the answer I received in my quiet time is SO NOT WHAT I EXPECTED.  Simply put, God told me I was asking the wrong question and I already knew the answer to the right question if I would just ask it instead.  It was similar to an audio voice screaming at you, ''Beth, the question that heals distortions of our identity isn't a question we should ask of others or even of ourselves.''  WHOA whoa whoa, wait a minute mister...what do you mean I have a distortion of my identity....

The true question is ''Who do you say that I am, Lord.''  I'm learning the answer to that question will change your life, if you believe what He says about you.  My goal in this season is not to learn to receive a compliment, but to understand the lie that prevents me from believing who I really am.  That way, compliment or no compliment, I am free to be me.  Also, as a result, being able to receive a compliment as intended, no matter from who or when, results in affirmation, encouragement and a moment to feel the admiration of another.  My goal...To heal and grow spiritually and emotionally so that I will become what I already am in His eyes...that is my answer; that is my on-going goal, and specifically where my focus needs to be in the now.

It places new meaning on my motto---Be bold.  Be radically different.  Be yourself.  hmmm...

Recieve a Compliment- Part 1

I love to give a compliment and I like to get one.  Some people love to receive one and rarely extend one.  Others find it hard to sincerely speak one.  I have witnessed other people near death if they don't hear one and many who literally spend most of their time fishing for one.  It leaves me to wonder why the heck I am having so much trouble taking to heart words meant to encourage me.

I don't remember ever ''needing'' a compliment to feel worthy, but I have very much enjoyed them when sincerely given. Thankfully, I find my self-worth in things that aren't received from others, however we are called not only to encourage but to allow ourselves to be encouraged, as well.  I'm not sure the scripture behind that one, but logically if God's word tells us to encourage then He had someone in mind to receive it, right....

I asked a friend a question today that resulted in a compliment.  Why did I get that deep feeling inside making it hard for me to receive it...Why did something meant to be uplifting, feel so uncomfortable...

Yesterday, my sister posted a compliment and for some reason I questioned her later because I felt this overwhelming feeling that her over the top words were not true.  Hmmm....even her response to my question, had me twisted and resulted in me making excuses for myself.  I wonder if she saw through that....and how would I have reacted if she would have pursued me toward accountability after I shut her down the first time.

To drive my point even further, confidence is the root of this blog, yet I STILL have yet to send out the launch post.  I keep saying I'm waiting on ''this or that'' but the truth is I'm just scared.  I am unsure of ''what'' exactly, but I feel parts of me that are just not ready to be exposed yet.  In my experience, fear is not always the absence of courage or confidence, but is often God's way of protecting us from something we are not quite ready for.  Probably need to search that one, too.  One thing at a time...

So, I decided my deeper still moment would be the self examine necessary to determine what the heck my problem is. Where's the gap in truth when it comes to this part of my self confidence.  And how do I reclaim it and take ownership once and for all.   Faking it can be exhausting and no one should have to do that forever....

Don't be scared to intentionally search for the strongholds that keep you from truly becoming who you are, instead of waiting for them to bite you.  Being forced to deal with issues may seem easier than proactively doing it yourself, but that lack of proactivity may just be a factor in the reason you have the issue to begin with. But beware...when you do ask this bold question, He shows up and expects movement.  My search is to figure out why, in this season, can I not be open to the kindness of others who choose to be faithful in their call to encourage....

Learning what you Live...

Well, this blogging thing is harder than it seems but today I have something heavy on my heart to share.

My 9 year old daughter was sitting at the computer when I told her she could unplug the laptop and go into the living area.  She said, ''You don't let us do that, Mom.  That's the rule. We sit here to work on the computer.''.  I responded with, ''Who made that rule...I have never put that rule into place.''  Her simple answer, ''You never unplug it and go into the other room with it, so I assumed I wasn't able to either.''

This written account of this interaction, may not be the exact words of the exchange, but you get the point.  Our children watch our every move.  Spoken, unspoken, intentional, unintentional.  Using this to our advantage is possibly the key ingredient that separates the great parents from the good parents.

Recently I began the process of divorce.  My divorce is not final yet and I honestly see no end in site from a legal standpoint.  From an opportunity standpoint, I see many options in using my heart ache to help my children understand life, love and the true pursuit of happiness.  And when you're raising two little girls, specifically, purity is a key element that every mother desires to instill in their hearts.  Not just the concept, but the desire, courage and self confidence to make a decision proactively and avoid situations where the temptation may be dangerous.  This doesn't just involve other people, but these days it involves tv, computer, magazines, text messages...even video games.  Our children are surrounded by the lies that purity is not important and lack of purity moves you forward.  Hmmm....I am left to ask myself, have I made an unspoken agreement to that lie over the years...And if I have, I wonder what God wants to replace it with...

If I am honest, the answer is yes, I have.  The consequences have been great and will forever remain as a reminder of the importance of intentional, proactive living.  Too often people think of God's wisdom as a deflation to their party, when in fact it is simply guard rails for your heart.  His wisdom is not rigid rules to prevent or hinder us.  His wisdom enhances, satisfies and places us in a mindset to receive the blessings He places in front of us, to the fullest.

A while back, I made the decision to stop wearing my wedding ring.  For me it was a symbol of something that was no longer a possibility and a constant reminder of what was not.  I won't go into detail on what a wedding ring is suppose to signify, but I will tell you that when I removed it, God replaced it with something else...And He did it in a way only He could do.  One day, I'll share that story, but today is not the day.

To wrap this post up and bring it full circle.  I wear a ring now.  It's not my wedding ring, but it's a ring that I feel God gave me.  One that brings a visual reminder into my spirit each time I need to be reminded that my purity is important. It's crucial.  If for no other reason, BECAUSE my kids are learning by what I LIVE.   They are making agreements with truths, and lies, that will remain a part of them through life.  I believe it is my job to make sure those agreements are understood, so when they do make their own choices they do so with a wisdom far beyond anything I could decide for them.  Like my mother use to say, ''root and wings.  roots and wings''.  As a mother myself, it is sometimes the hardest thing to truly, consistently achieve.

In my quiet time this morning, I surrendered the busyness of my mind and the Spirit lead me to this verse.  ''If someone claims, ''I know Him well but doesn't keep His commandments, he's obviously a liar.''  It may not all come together for you while reading this post, but it will come.  It has for me this morning and I am thankful I serve a God that leads.  He's my husband and He will never leave or forsake me.  He allows me to be the imperfect person that I am, knowing I am serving Him, a perfect God.

Shine on.  Be yourself.

Are You Truly Free

Today is Memorial Day.  I can not wrap my brain around the scarifice the men and woman who have fought for our freedom.  The lives of so many, so you and I could be free. Above that, I think of what Jesus did for us on the cross and I begin to wonder if I will ever truly understand that type of sacrifice?  Do I truly soak in the truth; ready to surrender my ''stuff'' to replace the sin in my life with His truth?  The flag is pointless if we are living without the freedom of Jesus Christ.  You may not have bars around your borders, but there are limitations on your heart that have already been fought for.  And in case you haven't heard, it says in Revelation WE WON!!!

With those images in mind, close your eyes and merge them together.  Ask the Spirit to show you what holds you back from experiencing TRUE FREEDOM.  What holds you in bondage....

Everybody is weighed down by something.  Even if you are unaware of how it affects your everyday living.  At some point in our journey, we agreed with a lie the enemy told us and we base our thinking rooted in that lie...The cycle of destruction was born.  The good news is, it's easily replaced by asking God to empty it and replace it with what HE WANTS.  His truths.  Breakthrough is near.  Today is the day healing begins.  Are you ready?

Painting done by Glen Willams of Brandon, MS.  It is titled ''Obedience''.  WOW.

Summer Has Officially Begun

At our house, the start of summer isn't signified by a series of events or a specific day...it's more like a specific moment...one where I realize that I better get busy on planning some activities for them to do to keep them out of trouble.  It's the moment of reality that says, ''it's you and me, babe...all summer long.'' 

This year, that moment was now.  They come running into the kitchen saying they cute their hair, ''Look mom, she doesn't have anymore hair.''.  I nearly lost it because when they were 2 and 4 years old, my little Sweet Pea cute Banana's hair down to NOTHING.  While I knew this was extremely unlikely since we talk about that instance too often for them to do that on purpose again.  I turned to see these expressions and had to take a picture...Notice Banana's sneaky, ''I'm up to something'' face peeping from behind.  It reflects how easy it is for two little girls to get way bored with too much time on their hands.  They begin to get goofy, which is kind of nice.  Then goofy turns to bickering.  Bickering turns to fighting.  Fighting turns to....well, I don't want to even discuss the possibilities.

So, I'm on a mission to find some cool summer activities.  I'll keep you posted.  Pardon the pun.

Every Problem has a Solution- My Family Room

You will learn my motto quickly and I truly believe there is a solution for every single problem.  It may not be our way, but there is a way.  Today's problem is my family room and I need some help.  Man oh man, even with this issue, I still feel my walls smiling at us, but I also feel that nudge that something just isn't right.  Take a look...

It is super duper space.  Great wood floors and furniture I can work with for the time being, thanks to my ex-husband who graciously gave me back some of our furniture from 2005 when we divided it.  Who would have known... 
What a blessing.

What you can't tell in this image, is how dark the room is.  With only two can lights on one side of the room, one spot light over the fire place, a fan with no light, and french doors that are tinted, it's hard to get cozy in here for some reason.  I am having trouble luminating the room with great lamps, because there are no floor plugs and baby walker over there will trip over them if they are stretched.  Let me show a couple more angles.  BTW, my little Banana was practicing her dance moves while I tried to photograph the space.

I'm in a phase of my life where I'm searching for my style.  I've always had a modern country/pottery barn/whatever I felt like putting together look going on.  A matter of fact, I've used the same fabric in my living room, along with the same colors in my houses since my first marriage.  That was years ago...it's PAST time for a change.  SO...something isn't working with this room.  Is it the lighting, the furniture, the color of the walls, all the junk/toys or something I'm not seeing.  Help me redefine my space to reflect the bright, joy within our home.

Our Bath Boats will Sail to High Places

no, this is not an ad for Johnson's baby wash.  I'm in no way connected to JJ.

Money is tight these days.  God is providing just enough, to the penny, to meet our financial needs.  And He's blessing us with things money can't buy in abundance.  I have gone to Wal-mart three different times to  purchase my baby some bath toys only to walk down the children's bath toy section and decide I can't justify spending money on something that my little blue caboose doesn't even know exists.  SO...we've been playing boats with the Johnson's baby wash bottles.  Multi-Use.  My middle name.

PRAYER WALL

Please post your prayer requests in this post.  Visit the Prayer Room if you want more information about becoming a Smiling Walls prayer warrior.

It's Like Open Heart Surgery without the Fear of Death

Be still and let God be God (Psalm 46:10).  Do you often pray asking for something specific.  Do you allow yourself to be still long enough to receive the fruit of your direct request......

I have recently devoted a large part of my prayer life specifically to my children.  I have always prayed for them by name, however God has laid on my heart to pray even more specific for each one of them.  Recently it was laid on my heart to pray for my oldest daughter like this:

Father God, I desire deeper  one-on-one communication with Sweet Pea.  Our individual time is limited and I ask for a way to lessen this and allow us to see the depths of our hearts clearly.  I pray for her to begin to search high and low for what it means to have a personal relationship with you.  I believe she is at the age where her relationship with you can be independent of me.  God, I know she needs a Savior in this broken world.  Give me the supernatural wisdom to guide her into a relationship with You.  As you know, Lord, she is a leader and can teach many others of the simplicity and joy of your salvation.  Use her gift of creativity boldly, to personalize this journey for her and to begin to leave her own foot print on the canvas of this world.  In Jesus' Name, Amen

One day later, Sweet Pea calls me into her room after the little Banana had fallen asleep and said, ''I've written three questions for you in this journal, I want you to answer them each night, just me and you.''  We've been doing this prayer and question exchange for a week now.  She asked me a question about asking Jesus into her heart.  In exchange I asked her if she understood what it meant to ask Jesus into her heart, die to herself to live for Jesus.  I wanted to share the fruit of my prayer....her answer...see for yourself.  The question has prompted many other conversations and a life time of more questions with a method that allows for transparency.  God not only answered my prayer about her search for salvation, He gave her the vision to creatively design a platform that I have a feeling many will share as the years progress.  She already brought her journal to school, showed her friend and reported back last night that her and her mom had started the same thing.  The richness of God's blessings aren't something that ''happen in the future''.  They happen right before our eyes and as a direct result of us going before our Lord and praying the desires of our hearts. 

Sweet Pea, may God get all the glory for our conversations as He moves in us and between us. Claim the Word of God...''Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.'' Psalm 37:4  I love you so much.  Love, Mom

I am so excited I could pee in my pants....

Seriously, I have no readers...well, probably one. My sweet sister, who blogs like a champ CHECK OUT HER BLOG HERE , may or may not be reading. And perhaps eventually someone may read this, but I am not excited for the people reading it, I'm excited for ME to have it started. Prompted by that sister of mine, I've decided to put my love for journalism and writing to better use. I also love the idea of using this platform to trigger a believing response in the minds of my readers. I may not have many now, but I know God will lead the right people to this place. My little corner of cyperspace.

I want to state, for the record, that I divide life into three main categories in which I strive to better understand each day...1-who i am 2-how i see myself in comparison to who i am and 3-who i want to be. Hmmm...when stated that way, it makes the little moments where you compensate for your insecurities seem a bit more distinctive. I am constantly striving to be a better person in all I do by learning more about my Lord and Savior. I try to dig deeper each chance I get to reflect on what my actions, behaviors and habits really say about me without letting the assumptions and/or judgments of others influence my perception...and lastly, I can identify many areas I want to learn more about, bring the joy back into or just plain out explore for no better reason than because. So, this first post is to reflect on the areas I want to become more of, change, add, etc...

NO. UNO- I WANT THE JOY OF COOKING TO REENTER MY HOME. I sincerely use to love to be in the kitchen. I allowed life circumstances to strip that away. Dinner became the most dreadful hour of the day. Now I am choosing for that love to be intentionally brought back into the walls of my home and the hearts of my children. I, BETH THE BLOGGER, state that I am going to intentionally share and explore new ways to make eating healthy, appealing and a decision in the lives of myself and family. I am choosing to invite you to try the recipes, post your favorite and help me bring the joy of cooking back into my circle of influence. I want something to pass down to my children....you know, the kind of comments when I'm long gone...'my mother made it this way'. Oh the thoughts of those early newlywed years to come for my children where their first martial fight is likely to be over what or how to cook dinner. I want to look forward to inviting my friends and family over to share a meal, discuss life and give me stories to blog about...I want to look at going out to dinner as more of an opportunity to fellowship than a necessity to eat. I want to enjoy food again and look for new ways to make it exciting.

NO. TWO- I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT MAKING MY YARD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL YARD I'VE EVER HAD. I WANT IT TO BECOME LIKE THERAPY TO SPEND THE DAY WORKING IN THE YARD. Or simply put, I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO KEEP MY PLANTS ALIVE AND KNOW WHAT TO PLANT WHEN, HOW TO DIVIDE AND SHARE...WHAT MAKES YOUR YARD SMELL GOOD, GROW GOOD, GREERER...ETC. In other words...I want a green thumb.

This time next year, I hope to look back and have accomplished these intentional ways of living within our walls.

Blessings to my sister, the sole 'knower' of this blog address. please don't pass it along until i'm ready. this is a huge step for me. lol.

love love love